Fill your stockpot with water (about 6 quarts). Toss in onions, garlic, bay leaves, and half your spice blend. Bring to a rolling boil that sounds like a freight train coming through your kitchen.

Let this simmer for 10 minutes while you grab a beer. You’re building layers of flavor that would make my grandmother weep with joy.

Drop in potatoes and sausage with a satisfying splash. These tough guys need the longest cooking time. Set your timer for 10 minutes – no cheating.

Your potatoes should yield slightly to a fork but still have backbone. Nobody wants mushy potatoes floating around like sad little clouds.

Add those corn pieces to the bubbling chaos. Cook for exactly 5 minutes while you start clearing counter space for the feast ahead.

Watch the kernels plump up like tiny golden pillows soaking up all that spicy goodness.

Add crabs first (they’re the divas and need longest), followed by clams and mussels. Wait 3 minutes – I know it feels like forever. Then add crawfish. Finally, slide in those beautiful shrimp last.

Let me tell you something – timing here separates the pros from the weekend warriors. Overcooked seafood turns into expensive rubber bands.

Cook everything together for 3-4 minutes until shrimp blush pink and mussels yawn open wide. Your kitchen should smell like heaven’s seafood counter by now.

Kill that heat immediately and add remaining seasonings plus a generous squeeze of lemon. Don’t be shy.